The Conversion of St. Paul
The Collect
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O
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GOD, who, through the preaching of the blessed Apostle
Saint Paul, hast caused the light of the Gospel to shine throughout the world;
Grant, we beseech thee, that we, having his wonderful conversion in
remembrance, may show forth our thankfulness unto thee for the same, by
following the holy doctrine which he taught; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
There are moments in our lives when the heavens above seem as hardened brass so
that our prayers bounce back upon our own heads. During those moments, we
presume that God has turned a deaf ear to our pleadings, but God is never deaf
to the prayers of His saints. In a poem by Gerard Manley Hopkins, he
expresses the forlorn despair of the tested soul:
My prayers must meet a brazen heaven
And fail and scatter all away.
Unclean and seeming unforgiven
My prayers I scarcely call to pray.
I cannot buoy my heart above;
Above I cannot entrance win.
I reckon precedents of love,
But feel the long success of sin.
My heaven is brass and iron my earth:
Yea, iron is mingled with my clay,
So harden'd is it in this dearth
Which praying fails to do away.
Nor tears, nor tears this clay uncouth
Could mould, if any tears there were.
A warfare of my lips in truth,
Battling with God, is now my prayer.
(The poet experiences some of
the misery of Job, but lacks his faith)
Job 23
King James Version (KJV)
23 Then
Job answered and said,
2 Even to day is my
complaint bitter: my stroke is heavier than my groaning.
3 Oh that I knew where I
might find him! that I might come even to his seat!
4 I would order my cause
before him, and fill my mouth with arguments.
5 I would know the words
which he would answer me, and understand what he would say unto me.
6 Will he plead against
me with his great power? No; but he would put strength in me.
7 There the righteous
might dispute with him; so should I be delivered for ever from my judge.
8 Behold, I go forward,
but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him:
9 On the left hand,
where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right
hand, that I cannot see him:
10 But
he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as
gold.
11 My
foot hath held his steps, his way have I kept, and not declined.
12 Neither
have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of
his mouth more than my necessary food.
13 But
he is in one mind, and who can turn him? and what his soul desireth, even that
he doeth.
14 For
he performeth the thing that is appointed for me: and many such things are with
him.
15 Therefore
am I troubled at his presence: when I consider, I am afraid of him.
16 For
God maketh my heart soft, and the Almighty troubleth me:
17 Because
I was not cut off before the darkness, neither hath he covered the darkness
from my face.
This chapter in Job can be
divided into three significant parts:
1. In
verses 1-9, we read of Job's searching for God to plead his cause.
2. In
verses 10-12, Job recognizes that God is refining him as gold, and he will
emerge from his troubles pure.
3. In
verses 13-17, Job acknowledges that it will be God's will that is done and not
his own.
As I
was discussing the previous chapter devotion and our reference to God's rainbow
with a dear friend, we talked of how the rainbow covers the canopy of heaven
but, yet, touches the earth at some point. My mother, being Irish, would tell
me of a `Pot of God' at the end of the rainbow – but I can assure you that
there is far more than a `Pot of Gold' where the heavens came down to touch the
earth. Jesus came down two thousand years ago and opened the floodgates of
mercy and love for us. Being the Light of the World, he brought every color of
the rainbow with Him and covenanted with us as of old. It is remarkable in my
view that Job began with great faith but, hammered mercilessly by his friends,
he began to feel deserted by God; however, the more they lambast him, he begins
to grow more staunchly fixed in that reviving faith and courage of a righteous
man. In our modern world, the true-believing Church is harried from pillar to
post, yet a greater and more enduring faith will always arise. The world today
is enjoying a drunken orgy, but once the orgy is over, they shall plead with
the church for a sanctuary from the justice of their licentious sins.
Even
in the opening lines of the chapter (v 1-9); Job again expresses grief at not
being able to connect, as in olden days, with the comforting fellowship of God.
Knowing God to be just and also full of mercy, Job asserts that, if he could
only converse with God, God would be persuaded by his argument and grant a
reprieve from his present sufferings. 2. Even to
day is my complaint bitter: my stroke is heavier than my groaning. 3 Oh
that I knew where I might find him! that I might come even to his seat! 4 I
would order my cause before him, and fill my mouth with arguments. 5 I
would know the words which he would answer me, and understand what he would say
unto me. Much as the fair, Shulamite maiden of Solomon's Song longs
for her Lily of the Valleys and her Rose of Sharon to comfort and reassure her,
so does Job long for that fellowship of prior days he has enjoyed with the
LORD. So, too, does the true Church in our day long for the same Rose of
Sharon, and the encouraging Lily of the Valleys to light our way in a
sin-darkened world.
Job
may not know the Why of God's workings, but he knows well the Nature and
Character of God. 6 Will he plead against me with his
great power? No; but he would put strength in me. 7 There
the righteous might dispute with him; so should I be delivered for ever from my
judge. When we have entrusted our fortunes in a strong and
reputable bank, we may not know in what way they will safeguard our funds, but
we do know that the bank will take whatever measures are necessary to keep our
interests safe and secure. Job knows well that God will not come against him in
violence but rather as a loving Father. Is it possible for the righteous to
commune with God with questions and arguments? Yes, Abraham dealt with God
prior to the destruction of Sodom and the cities of the plain. The process did
not change the will of God – for He was bent on the destruction of those wicked
cities – but it did change Abraham's mind in knowing that God would not destroy
Sodom for the sake of ten innocents. But God knew that there were not even ten
innocents. Jacob likewise wrestled with God. God was not changed, but Jacob was
permanently changed. Job feels that his predicament is based on some presumed
evil that God sees in him but the circumstances are just the reverse – God has
allowed Job to be tempted because He sees Job as RIGHTEOUS! He knows Job will
withstand the storm and become an everlasting encouragement and witness to us
who, likewise, suffer unjustly for our faith.
There
is a growing faith in Job's present doubt. He readily admits that, though he
cannot find God, God is present and hiding His visage from him.8 Behold,
I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot
perceive him: 9 On the left hand, where he doth work,
but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I
cannot see him. Since God is present everywhere and at all times
(omnipresent), Job knows that God is present even if Job cannot see Him.
It is
a continual worry to the saints that they are unworthy of the grace of God and
deserve their tortures of the world; but, though they certainly do not deserve
the grace of God, it would no longer be grace if it were deserved. And, yes, we
do deserve the tortures of earth and Hell, but God has called by grace through
faith, into the heart of His Beloved Son, Jesus. Please observe how Job's
compass bounces, at times, from true north, but at last always returns to its
proper reading. He doubts, and his doubts actually FEED his faith. The first
nine verses depict a weakness in faith, but see how the faith is confirmed in
the next three verses: 10 But he knoweth the way
that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. 11 My
foot hath held his steps, his way have I kept, and not declined. 12 Neither
have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of
his mouth more than my necessary food. Job knows, despite his
sometime doubts, that God is good, and that whatever God brings into his life
will be a refinement of his character and virtue. Can we all recognize this?
See how in verse 12 that Job treasures the Bread of Heaven more than the bread
made from the fruit of the earth?
Finally, Job acknowledges that,
in spite of his own reasoning and logic, that of God Almighty is always sure
and true. The will of God is always based on best wisdom and knowledge of the
facts above those of any mortal. God, knowing the best in the long outcome,
will not change His will for He does not vacillate between two opinions as does
man. 13 But he is in one mind, and
who can turn him? and what his soul desireth, even that he doeth.
Truly, God is of One Mind. When we have taken God's will into our
lives to the out-casting of our own frail wills, we will always ask those
things that are convenient to God to grant. Divisions in Church and society
itself will disappear for those individuals and nations whose direction is
dictated by that Bright and Morning Star.14 For he
performeth the thing that is appointed for me: and many such things
are with him. Have we not read this in remarkable places of the
Holy Scriptures? Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for
ever. (Heb 13:8)
Should we fear God as Christians? Yes, but not with the mortal fear a convicted
murderer has for the guillotine; the fear of a Christian for the Father should
be the fear a good son has for his Father whom he never wishes to disgrace or
make ashamed. 15 Therefore am I troubled at his
presence: when I consider, I am afraid of him. 16 For
God maketh my heart soft, and the Almighty troubleth me: Job says
that God has melted his heart to be without courage. Did not Christ suffer more
greatly all of our afflictions? Read His words from the cross: I am
poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax;
it is melted in the midst of my bowels. (Psalms 22:14)
Job claims that he has been spared the comfort of death before the pitch
darkness that has arisen and that, instead of covering Himself with a cloud of
darkness, God has covered Job's face with that darkness. 17 Because
I was not cut off before the darkness, neither hath he covered the
darkness from my face. The eyes of God are never blinded to our
present circumstances, only our understanding is clouded from knowing the
perfect will of God; therefore, we often linger in pointless doubt.
